If this column ends in mid-sentence, know that I’ve been abducted by Browns Backers and I’m being skunk-beer waterboarded in a dungeon under the Muni Lot.
Risking Browns-on-Browns violence, the following must be said: Tecmo programmers unfairly nerfed John Elway. Like teammate Steve Atwater, Elway’s 8-bit avatar bears little resemblance to the real Comeback Kid.
In the years leading up to Tecmo Super Bowl, Elway led his Broncos to three Super Bowl berths. He earned multiple All-Pro honors. From 1986-1990, Elway stood among NFL leaders in pass attempts, pass completions, total passing yards, yards per completion, total offense, game-winning drives and come from behind wins. Had TSB or Twitter existed in 1989, our feeds would have been flooded1:
It’s a bit of a shock, then, that Tecmo John Elway is a ho-hum, middle-of-the-pack signal caller. Jets QB Ken O’Brien performs better, as do Dave Krieg, Vinny Testaverde and Steve DeBerg. These names aren’t usually ranked above John Elway, yet in TSB, each gets the upper hand.
Elway’s stats look almost perfect. His 25 Max Speed is a few notches above average but not QB Eagles fast. Elway’s cannon arm earns him a ridiculous 75 Passing Speed, second only to Dan Marino. His 50 Avoid Pass Block gives him the shiftiness to thread the needle when his pocket collapses.
Then there’s John Elway’s 31 Pass Control. Whaaaaaaat?
Elway’s lowball PC rating puts him in “elite” company with Houston QB2 Cody Carlson, Jim “Pleated Khakis or GTFO” Harbaugh and Steve “Tecm-LOL” Grogan. Elway’s 31 Pass Control is the second-worst score in all of Tecmo Super Bowl.
To further complicate Denver’s passing attack, only one of Elway’s receivers has a Receptions score over 50. TSB adds a QB’s Pass Control and the WR’s Receptions, then subtracts the defender’s Interceptions to calculate the probability of a completed pass2. Elway’s low control and slug-handed receivers means an alarming number of passes will bounce to turf. Add Wayne Haddix to the formula, and you’d be better off running Elway on a QB keeper.
One possible explanation for Elway’s terrible control lie in the next stat down the list: Accuracy of Passing. Elway’s 69 AoP score is 3rd best among TSB passers, equal to Boomer Esiason and Dan Marino. QB Eagles scores only a 61, Bernie Kosar a 50. Despite his horrendous control, Tecmo Elway possesses amazing accuracy.
The problem is that Accuracy of Passing does absolutely nothing. Give a passer 99 or 0 Accuracy of Passing, neither makes any difference. It seems Tecmo imagined passing as more complex, involving both “control” and “accuracy,” but at some point during production, pared down their equations3. Programmers likely intended to balance John Elway’s awful Pass Control against his top-flight Accuracy of Passing, making him an above-average QB. Either by oversight or intent, that balance never came.
Today, we think of John Elway as a Hall of Fame QB with two Super Bowl Rings. But during the Tecmo era, Elway was more “scapegoat” than G.O.A.T. From 1984-89, he averaged a minuscule 53-percent completion rate. For comparison, Joe Montana completed over 70 percent of his passes in 1989. Elite QBs usually flirt with 60 percent. Had it existed at the time, Facebook would have repeated the same question ad nauseum:
Even posting some unspectacular numbers, Elway led the Broncos to Super Bowls XXI, XXII and XXIV. It’s this precise success which doomed TSB Elway. Game data strongly suggests rosters were finalized in September 1990. Tecmo’s last image of Elway, then, was the worst beat-down in Super Bowl history. Elway finished Super Bowl XXIV 10 of 26 for 108 yards with zero touchdowns, two interceptions and two fumbles. By the fourth quarter, Broncos fans were booing and taunting their bumbling QB4.
“Elway’s game had more holes than Pete Fountain’s clarinet…[He] was strictly peanuts; he was Charlie Brown, faked out by Lucy again…Is John Elway the reason Denver’s here or the reason Denver loses?”5
Ouch.
History provides us a perspective not available in September of 1990. The 1986-1990 Broncos lacked a steady, powerful running attack. Denver RBs could only muster 40 yards a game. Worse, Elway had zero big play receivers. Montana had Rice. Rypien had Art Monk. Warren Moon had an entire army of physical freaks catching his every pass. Name Denver’s top two WRs in ’89 (without Google) and I’ve got $10 with your name on it6. Excepting RB Sammy Widner in 1986, Elway was the only Pro Bowler on Denver’s offense.
Once Denver added some talent around Elway, it became clear he was the solution, not the problem. With RB Terrell Davis and TE Shannon Sharpe to share the workload, Elway won back-to-back Super Bowls in 1997 and 1998. His completion percentage shot up to 60 percent-plus.
Had it existed in the 1997, Snapchat’s parade of wangs and muffshots would have been interrupted by evanescent odes to Elway.
The evidence is clear: Elway’s low Pass Control score is a fluke of timing and bad programming. To fix it, we simply search out comps. Vinny Testaverde and Boomer Esiason both completed around 55 percent of their passes. Both earn 56 PC ratings. Chris Miller, on the other hand, completed between 50 and 53 percent of his passes for Atlanta and received a 44 PC. Therefore, we split the difference and give John Elway a 50 Pass Control rating.
A 50 Pass Control score greatly improves Elway’s TSB completion rates and more accurately represents his prowess in the late 80’s and early 90’s. Tecmo Elway’s improved control still won’t out-gun the 49ers or Oilers, but for those wishing to re-create the 1989 AFC Cham
NOTES:
1 Seriously. Spell it right. It’s not a bowl for Daft Punk’s cereal. It’s Tec-MO, as in, “Do MO Googling before you post your next idiotic tweet.”
2 More or less.
3 Probably because “accuracy” and “control” mean the same damn thing.
4 Elway did however, score the Broncos’ only TD on a 3rd quarter QB run.
5 http://articles.latimes.com/1990-01-29/sports/sp-837_1_super-bowl-xxiv
6 I’m still spending it on scotch, but I’ll be sure to write your name on it first.
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